Coming To You Today From The Dark Pit of Hell

Ok it's not that bad but I do feel like crap. I spent much of yesterday morning on the bathroom floor, and then slept until 4pm. If it weren't for my severe and irrational fear of vomiting (emetophobia), I would have been doing that, too. Instead I just...uh...did another not-so-pleasant, toilet-involving deed. Lots.
This morning I've managed to take a shower and I'm working up to eating a piece of toast. I managed two pieces last night! Four pieces of toast in two days is not the greatest diet, I'll admit, but I've lost 5lbs! I don't recommend it. Oh, just to convince you not to do it, I'll remind you that the diet includes...uh...lots of sitting on the toilet.
That's enough of that.
I'm feeling rather fatigued so I'll leave you now. I thought of leaving you with a poem about my experiences over the past couple of days, but that would be gross. So I'll leave you with a haiku instead:

Bathroom Haiku

The cool touch of your
laminated floor relieves
my feverish skin

Have a good one; I'm out.