Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Saturday, November 26, 2005

I'm Gonna Make a Million!

Oooooh I am sick. My throat has been transported to the fiery pits of Hell. And my nose…oooooh my nose. Happily, the long hours of lying awake last night have resulted in a business idea that I’m confident will be a hit (note: the brain fog could be hindering my judgement a bit). What do you think?


Do you have a cold? The flu? Are you using copious amounts of the earth’s precious forest products (ex: toilet or tissue paper) just to keep the viscous flow of snot at bay? Have I got a product for you!

The Snot-Catcher!

Simply install the Snot-Catcher beneath the offending orifice and relax! Not only will you forget you have a runny nose; you will prevent yourself from further contributing to the depletion of the earth’s forest-resources!

Observe the comfort pad (available in deluxe faux-leather and regular vinyl), installed with the consumer in mind to prevent skin irritation and provide for a snug, comfortable fit. You’ll hardly know the Snot-Catcher is there!

Available in “I feel pretty” and “Office-savvy”, the Snot-Catcher is practical and fashionable, too! Be the trend-setter in your office, school, or group of friends!

With a convenient drain discreetly installed in the bottom of the Snot-Catcher, easy emptying is a breeze (or a well-placed blow!).

Order yours today!


Have an important meeting, appointment or public appearance? Don’t want to be weighed-down by the conventional Snot-Catcher? Try the *new* Nose-tampons and Dual-Nostril Discretion Buckets combination!
Note: Not intended for prolonged use. Contact your local distribution center for more information.

Manufacturer’s warning: The Snot-Catcher is not intended for use while lying down. It is inadvisable to eat, drink, inhale deeply, tilt your head back or dance around like a monkey while using this product. Not for use during inclement weather, especially rain. Please be advised that prolonged use of the Snot-Catcher may result in a diminished sense of smell, unemployment, and general loneliness.


So? It’ll be a huge hit, right? Shazam! I didn’t major in marketing for nothing!


At 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where can I get one of these! I want the office-savy edition.

At 8:34 PM, Blogger Eve said...

Please put me down for three- I've been looking for stocking stuffers like these! Is there a Dora one for my daughter? Only the best for my baby's mucous!


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