Please Hang Up And Refrain From Trying Your Call Again
I don’t seem to be sticking to my New Year’s resolution. This whole answering the phone when it rings thing is HARD! How do you people do it? I was doing ok for a while, then the depression hit and suddenly it got so…complicated. I would hear the ring, take a look at the display, and think, “they can wait,” or “wow, I’d love to talk to her!” or “oh, I’ve been meaning to call this person…” and then let the rings fade out, frozen. Doesn’t matter who’s calling; it could be the doctor’s office calling to confirm an appointment, or a friend, or my Mom. Sometimes I work up the motivation to call back. Most times, I don’t.
Writing is harder, too. I have so many words in me! So many things to say. But it’s all stuck, somehow…lodged between my anxiety and my depression.
I’m trying.
I started Zoloft two nights ago, and I’m working through the side effects. It hasn’t been too bad so far, but really not very much fun, either.
So, to all of you who I owe emails to, I’m sorry I’m late. But be consoled, you’ve got the highest chance of hearing from me if you email me! That’s the easiest.
To all of those who have tried and failed to get me on the phone, I’m sorry. The worst calls are those that I so want to return, then I let a couple days go by and the guilt of waiting so long makes picking up the phone even harder. Christine, I got the message about your purse! How wonderful that someone brought it back! How amazing! I’m so happy for you. To my dear, dear friend in Nova Scotia who has tried several times to get me on the phone, congratulations. CONGRATULATIONS! You guys deserve this and so much more. To my dentist: no, I will not be returning your call to schedule a cleaning. Because, you see, cleanings SUCK. And I don’t want one. To my therapist: thanks for the message. I did go get that Zoloft. Oh, do you think we can talk about this whole phone aversion thing?
Liam has offered to write a couple of blog entries for me:
posted by Tree @ 3:19 PM
Nice Weather We're Having
6 Comments:
Ummmm... I do the same damn thing with the phone. And with e-mail sometimes too, but mainly the phone.
I'm finding the Zoloft s.e. are diminishing after a few weeks on it. I'm also taking it right before bed, which seems to help.
I find that uplugging the phone is HIGHLY satisfying. That way I still get my messages, and am not plagued with the "should I answer it or not" dilemma.
I hope that your anxiety goes away- and try not to put too much pressure on yourself to feel "normal"- you are pretty freaking amazing just as you are.
See you at our next Phonaphobics Anonymous meeting. ;)
Looking forward to reading a post from the gorgeous young Baby Blue Eyes.
xo
I rarely answer the phone. It drives my husband bonkers. If it's my best friend then usually I answer it, because she is more like a sister to me and understands totally if I say "I don't want to talk right now" but for anyone else, it goes unanswered.
Hang in there, girl...and really, don't do anything you don't wanna do. Baby steps. :)
at least you can rest assured you're not missing a call from me. i'm not that much of a stalker.
yet.
Wow, we really should start a Phonaphobics Anonymous. Well, at least I'm in good company!
s., thanks for the good news about Zoloft's side effects. I take it right before bed, too...so my mornings are the worst. Blah.
Shan! Keep us updated on the progress; we'll be thinking about you, ok? So excited over here. Remember, Theresa is a lovely name...haha!
Shevon, you've got mail.
Eve, you're smart. You unplug the phone. Less guilt! I have to give that a whirl.
mama_tulip...thanks, as always for the support.
Shannon, I'd be honored to be stalked by an upstanding citizen such as yourself.
Wait...that sounded weird. Uh...anyway, thanks for not calling me!
OMG, I didn't realize there where other people out there with as much fear of the phone as I have! I even worked on a research project for a year where I had to do phone interviews and STILL couldn't overcome my phone phobia.
I hope the Zoloft is going better (sorry, I'm just now catching up with your blog). I've battled PPD both ways: therapy only the first time and therapy+meds the second. (I was on quite the cocktail of meds at one point.) I'm so happy to hear your doctor was open to medication sooner rather than later. These months go buy so quickly and are so precious. You shouldn't have to suffer needlessly. All the best!!!!
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