Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I’m a Little Bit Crazy and That’s OK

*This is post number 100! On this momentous occasion, I invite all you lurkers to leave a comment. Thanks to all who visit; this blog has brought me more than I dreamed it could.*

My appointment on Monday night was fine. Two important things happened: 1) she didn’t prescribe any medication, and 2) I decided I'm ok with that. For now.
My psychologist listened excitedly as I described my vomit phobia. She had dealt with a similar case about 10 years ago, and the treatment (mostly cognitive/behavioural) was successful. We talked about the steps we’d take for a while, and I begun to have hope. She gently walked me through her plan, which includes several weeks of “steps” I’ll take to get me thinking about things differently, and which ultimately culminates in a purposeful, ipecac-induced barfing session. Seriously. When she said that, the fight or flight response was swift and harsh. I wanted to bolt out of there and never look back. But she’s assured me that we’ll take it slow, and that I won’t have to do it until I’m ready.
Wanna know a secret?
There’s no way on this side of Hell that that is ever going to happen.
See, my problem isn’t with the actual puking. I’ve puked before. It sucks monkey ass. But it’s not the end of the world. My problem is with my puking obsession, most likely related to my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Logically, I am aware that vomiting is not dangerous…it’s my obsession (unable to be controlled by me) that’s causing the angst. So I’ll take the steps…hey, I think changing my behaviours and thoughts on the subject will help. However, friends and neighbours, I have nearly perfected the technique of not throwing up, even when it is most advisable to do so. Throwing up makes me tired and sore and, oh yeah, EW! So, if I don’t have to do the deed, I won’t. I don’t think the actual act will help.
Who knows, that view could change as I become more sane.
Anyway, my doc. was looking all bright-eyed and proud of herself as our barf conversation drew to a close. Then I sprung the rest on her. As I regaled her of tales of debilitating panic, daily problems with obsessive behaviours, overwhelming anxiety, and the like, her face took on a bit more of a tense look.
THEN we talked about my family history.
Ah, it was almost funny.
Poor woman.
Anyway, I’m going to post updates on my weekly treatment. Maybe I’ll help someone. Or maybe it’s just therapeutic. Or maybe someone will see some humour in it. I hope so – I do! Here’s what I’m doing this week:

1) I am to have my kids and my loving husband record themselves pretending to puke. Then I will shut myself in my bedroom, recline on my bed and attempt to relax, and listen to the tape for as long as I can stand it. I am supposed to do this daily. It sounds kinda funny, huh? But although I hide it well, my stomach does a nasty lurch every time anyone makes any type of barfy noises. So this is a challenge.
2) I am exercising 20 minutes a day. Supposed to be as good as taking an anti-depressant, what with the release of adrenaline and nor-epinephrine and other happiness/relaxation hormones. I’m actually enjoying this part. For the last two nights, when all the little ones are snug in their beds, I’ve ventured into the out-of-doors and I’ve walked, briskly, for 20 minutes. It’s freezing out there at that time of night! On Tuesday night, the wind was blowing harshly and the snow stuck and froze resolutely to my cheeks, but I pressed on. Sure, I could stay inside and do yoga or play Dance Dance Revolution, but I like getting out of the house and breathing the air…even the snot-freezingly cold variety.

So, what else? Jim took the day off yesterday and Aidan stayed home from daycare. It’s Caleb’s March break week, so we decided to spend a day together. We went to Denny’s for breakfast, which was YUM. Jim’s breakfast was shockingly ginormous. It was HUGE. Disgustingly so. But well worth the money.
I’m going to leave you with a sweet picture of our non-sleeper, whose hair was recently assaulted by static. Here’s the result:

Oh! Many, many thanks for the suggestions on that whole pesky sleep issue. I’ve ordered “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” and look forward to devouring it in record time so we can make some positive changes around here.

Oh! Also! Several of you want remote energy readings. I’ve done a couple and have a couple more scheduled, and I must apologize for the delays to those of you who haven’t heard from me! Rest assured, I want to do your reading; I love doing this work. I know that eventually I’ll be bogged down with requests, but for now, all is well and good except for the whole time issue. I’ll get to you!


At 8:46 AM, Blogger Liz said...

Congrats on your 100th post. I found my way here through Breed 'Em & Weep for Ghost Story Tuesday and stayed for the rest which I've enjoyed thoroughly. Your boys are gorgeous. You always seems to have such a great attitude. On sleep -- I loved the HS,HC book -- also like Jodi Mindell's book, Sleeping through the Night. Good Luck.

At 8:52 AM, Blogger Shana said...

Hee! I love the faux-hawk. Cute. He looks very mischevious there.

Congrats on post 100! That's a pretty big milestone.

Tales of therapy are interesting... It must be very difficult having this phobia. Too bad you didn't need the puking tapes a year ago. I had horrible morning sickness and could have provided you with all the puking sounds you'd ever need.

At 10:51 AM, Blogger Trista said...

Congratulations on your 100th. I came here from Blogging Baby for the Ghost story Tuesday and, like Liz, stayed for the rest...

At 11:15 AM, Blogger Lisa said...

See, and I'm the opposite. Sometimes, I think if I could just throw up, I would feel so much better.

Congrats on your 100th post and good luck with the therapy!!

At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Crystal said...

Delurking here...Congrats on the 100th post. I found your blog via a link to the Ghost Story Tuesday as well, and have read each new one ever since. Good luck with the therapy, and I look forward to reading more about your experiences.

At 1:27 PM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Congrats on your 100th post! Woo hoo!

Good luck with the therapy, Tree. :)

At 3:08 PM, Blogger MomSquared said...

Ooh, do me!!

The listening to tapes of barfing thing does sound very very weird, but I understand the reason behind it. I imagine how strange it must sound to someone who doesn't get it!

At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, First off, I love your blog. I love your family including your wonderful mom. Your boys are awesome and of course you know how lucky you are to have Jimmy.(kiss)I think you guys rock! Tree, you spent much time at my house and we always loved having you around. You fit into our family like an "old shoe"(compliment). I have to tell you that the old man in your latest story was a retired semi professional boxer. He was just a lonely old man who missed his wife. from Lurker Sue

At 5:13 PM, Anonymous Dad said...

Hey Treesey, way to go, I'm glad you've kept up your excellent blog for so long. Provides me with lots of entertainment. Hug my grandboys for me, darlin.

At 9:48 PM, Blogger sblairc said...

About 7 months ago I could have recorded all the barfing sounds you could ever need. Your therapy sounds great. Good luck!

At 10:01 PM, Blogger MomToTracyNSheri said...

Grrrrrrrrrrrlll you're gonna love that book!!!!

When you figure out how to not be phobic of puke, you need to write your OWN book for the rest of us!

At 10:32 PM, Anonymous Lucy said...

Hi there

Good on you for going to the Dr's. I'm an emet too and I must say that I have heard that approach doesn't work- ie/ desentisisation, because of all the reasons you have given. Emet is much bigger than just having a phobia, it's also an OCD illness and a control issue. Plus there's all that stuff about childhood trauma that gets kicked around. Will be interested to see how you go.

Also I would love a reading too- how do I go about having one done?

Lucy from Australia- happy lurker

At 11:27 PM, Blogger s@bd said...

I think I like your psychologist. She sounds like she knows crazy.
And you're crazy-funny.

At 1:28 AM, Anonymous Layla said...

I simply think you must have the cutest three kids in the world. I look at them and want to have my own!

At 4:41 AM, Blogger ellokittee said...

Hiya, I just cruised in from breed 'em and weep, I'm glad I made it in time to celebrate your 100th post. To be fair I have only read your last entry, and I immediately felt compelled to comment. I, too, have the vomit phobia. Not the fear of vomitting myself, but the sound of others doing it makes me have near panic attacks. We are sisters, separated at birth?

At 5:20 AM, Blogger Daren said...

I too came from Breed 'Em & Weep for Ghost Story Tuesday and have stayed for the rest. I love your blog - ALOT! Congrats on the milestone.

At 6:30 AM, Anonymous Jo said...

Ha! You have successfully just made me laugh out loud at work!! So much to comment on and I don't know where to start so .... Liam's hair. I love it, as always. I am intrigued by the idea of listening to puke tapes (hmmmm) and VERY intrigued that a little bit of exercise every day is as good as an anti-depressant. As I'm weaning myself of mine I should perhaps try that. So I will think of you and your snot-freezing cold as I'm tramping the streets doing the same!

At 7:00 AM, Blogger Tree said...

I love seeing all the new people! Well, not necessarily new, but people who've never commented. Thanks!
A special shout out to Sue - HI! A retired boxer? Who knew? That is so interesting.
Lucy - email me and we'll set up a read.
Jo - I owe you an email girl. I haven't forgetten! And WOO HOO for you for weaning of the meds. You are my hero.
Hi Dad!
Oh and I can't resist - Shevon wants me to do her!
Tee hee. Email me Shevon.

At 7:58 AM, Blogger Jennboree said...

Liam looks mighty happy to be so sleepless!

If you like, I can send you daily recordings of my barf sessions. It mostly sounds like a giant gorilla yelling into the porcelain bowl, but the effect is there.

Do give us updates on the therapy! Good for you that you recognized the need to go. :)

At 8:30 AM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Tree, I have a strange question for you.

When you were growing up did you ever learn a song called "Fish and Chips and Vinegar?"

I think it's more of a Canadian song because several of my American friends have openly made fun of me about it, LOL. It's one of Julia's faves; we sing it all the time. Just though I'd ask if you knew it too. :)

At 8:46 AM, Blogger Tree said...

fiiiish and chips and vinegaaaaaar,
vinegaaaaar, vinegaaaaar
fiiiish and chips and vinegaaaaaar,
pepperpepperpepper SALT!

so, mama_tulip, that's a strong "yep!"

ps: don't throw your junk in my back yard, my back yard, my back yard
don't throw your junk in my back yard, my back yard's FULL!

At 9:31 AM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

YAY! I knew you'd know it. ;)

Do you do the "One bottle of pop, two bottles of pop, three bottles..." all the way up to 7 at the end, too?

At 9:36 AM, Blogger MomSquared said...

"Oh and I can't resist - Shevon wants me to do her!"

I knew you were a giant perv!! I knew it!!
Aren't I supposed to watch out for people like you on the internet?


You know what I'm wearing right now, baby? A breastpump.
Ohhhh yeah.

At 9:49 AM, Blogger Odd Mix said...

I'm glad you are satisfied with your visit to the therapist. And congrats on post 100!

At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Lisa :) said...

Hey !!!

Your boy is getting cuter by the day !!!

Congrats on your 100th post. I have missed coming here as often as I did . Now that my life is settling down I can keep up with you guys !!!

I hope you have success with the therapy .

At 12:47 PM, Blogger LoriLaurieLauri said...

First and foremost...that is THE CUTEST picture of a baby I have EVER seen! Liam is such a doll.

Also...LMAO and you listening to the recorded sounds of your family puking. And, uh, I wouldn't make myself puke at the end of treatment either. Just tell her you did. Hell, even record puking noises! lol! Just tell her that was the best therapy ever, make her happy, and what she doesn't know won't hurt her. lol!

At 2:48 PM, Anonymous H said...

delurking here (I am a horrible lurker, do it to a lot of other people, too). Apparently you owe Jen some readers, came here from Breed Em' & Weep for Ghost story Tuesday also. Have enjoyed everything thus husband and I are trying for number two right now and you're pictures are making me more impatient than I already am!

At 6:21 PM, Anonymous chris said...

mostly a delurker here as well, i got started reading your blog because my best friend in high school was also named 'tree.' i've continued to read because you've continued to make it so much fun. (and i learned that fish and chips song in michigan.)

At 3:51 PM, Blogger just me for now said...

yes LoriLaurieLauri, what she doesn't know won't hurt HER, but if it fails? how many others will be subjected to it?! =) on another note, don't know the songs, but i now have an undeniable craving for fish and chips....thanks, as NONE can be found within 1000 miles.

At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have a lot in common! First, I didn't puke myself from about age 7 to age 27 (drinking an entire bottle of red wine by myself one night helped me get over it). Second, I also have a non-sleeper (now 16 months and sleeping fine, from time to time). A word of advice - don't read those sleep books unless you want to be more crazy. I read them all and they made me nuts. In the end, I went with my gut and all was OK. The parts about how babies sleep (the science parts) were very helpful though.
Cheers! Emily

At 8:19 PM, Blogger kris said...

His smile is beautiful!


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