Poopy Ghost Story Tuesday

I am so glad I wrote this post yesterday. I finally succumbed to the barfy virus. Yep, I did. BUT I didn't barf. The power of the mind is a wonderful thing. I did, however, sit on the toilet for 7 hours straight and poop so much that I got dehydrated and fantasized about water...water...oooooh. Swimming in it; immersing my whole self in cool, clean water, and opening my mouth so it would fill me up. I was too nauseous to drink, but I would put some water in my mouth and swish it around so my tongue would stop sticking to the roof of my mouth. Nothing has ever tasted sweeter (the water, not the roof of my mouth. That tasted bad).
Anyway.
I'm trying to drink some Powerade now.
So here's my post; please don't be sad. It's not scary...it's really just a long answer to a question I got last week.
Must lie down now.

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Do you ever think it is just your imagination going crazy or is it always really an entity?

I always question myself. Well, almost always. Some things are easy to be sure of. When I physically see a ghost (versus “seeing” with my mind, I guess), I’m pretty sure it’s really there! Also, reading for someone is a lot more straightforward; they’re there with me and can confirm what I’m getting. Interpretation is where I run into trouble. It’s tough, sometimes, to try and figure out what a ghost is trying to tell me. Think about how hard it is to understand all the nuances of someone you’ve only just met…it’s work to be sure you’re getting what they say and taking away from it what they intend, isn’t it? Now, imagine that that person doesn’t speak your language…or only speaks choice phrases or a few words. Imagine that, instead of saying, “tell her I remember that time she fell off her bike and skinned her knee,” they make your knee hurt, show you a bike, and make you smell the antiseptic used to clean the scrape. Then, after you get these images/sensations, you have to figure out what to do with them. Is this a warning? A memory? An anecdote?
It’s not always that fuzzy. Sometimes it’s like watching a movie in your head; all you have to do is tell the person you’re reading for what you’re seeing, and they understand. Sometimes, you get the clear feeling of receiving a warning for someone. When I used to do this a lot, I often found that people would come to me for a reading hoping to hear from someone, and would get something else entirely, or nothing at all. The frustration of this was always hard to deal with, and always made me question whether I was doing the right thing by using my gift.
My issue with always aiming to please has caused problems, too. For example, a few years ago, someone who heard about what I do over the internet asked me to read for her (remotely). I had no details except for her first name. I sat down with Jen and Jeff (we often did this together, especially when we had specific requests), and we all opened up. Nothing. Nada. I couldn’t even be sure if I was connecting to her energy. We tried some more. Again, nothing. We decided to take a break and we did another remote reading which went very well, then we went back to the woman. At first, nothing. I was so eager to be able to report something to this woman that I opened up as much as I could, and looked for anything.
Suddenly, I saw a little boy who was ill…I felt hot and knew he had a very high fever. I got that he would have a seizure, and that he would need to see the doctor. Then I got some strange images: a castle with water beside it, and trouble with the police. None of it made any sense, and I was frustrated (especially because Jen and Jeff didn’t get any of this…I usually used them to confirm what I saw).
I remember writing to the woman and telling her that everything felt odd about the reading, but reporting what I saw nonetheless. I was embarrassed and upset when she wrote back, confused…none of this applied to her. She didn’t even have a young son, nor was she close with anyone who did.
So of course I question myself. I wonder if I’m making this stuff up. I doubt my abilities, and I always, always consider just shutting it all out. This time, I did the same.
The next day, Aidan (I think he was 16 months old at the time) spiked a temperature. I’d never seen him so sick. He was lethargic and Tylenol wasn’t touching his fever. After hours of holding him, he fell asleep, and Jim and I went to bed, too. A couple of hours later, I woke to the sad sound of Aidan whimpering. I got him out of his crib and began to change his diaper in the dimly lit room. I talked to him and noticed he wasn’t interacting with me. I knew something was wrong, and ran him into the bathroom and put him on the cool floor. His eyes stared blankly ahead and he was shaking all over. A seizure. We were terrified, of course. We called 911 and took him to the hospital, where they helped to get his fever down and recommended he see his regular pediatrician in the morning.
On the way to the doctor, Jim and I argued, and he was speeding. We were pulled over and Jim got a ticket. Even after this I didn’t clue in that it was this that I had seen the other night while trying to read for that woman. It was only when we arrived at the doctor’s office, which is in an old building with turrets and a stream beside it, that I realized it. I had tried so hard to see something for this woman, and when nothing happened, I reached even further and saw something important that would happen to me and my family.
So I guess all of that is to say yeah, I question myself. But no, I can honestly say now that I don’t believe that my imagination is getting the best of me. Sometimes, I interpret incorrectly. Sometimes, I just don’t see clearly. But I do see this stuff. For better or worse, I see it. And who knows what the heck I’m supposed to do with it! That’s why I like to concentrate on energy work. It’s much more concrete…and the results are always clear.
Next week I’ll write about energy, I promise!