Crazy-ass News - Monday Report

Good morning! I'm Tree and I'd like to thank you for tuning in to Crazy-ass News. Please feel free to call me the Harbinger of Doom. Or Doomy for short, if you like! I hope you all had a lovely weekend and are in good health and great spirits on this Monday morning, wherever you may be.
This weekend's Winterlude celebrations were unfortunately affected by the weather. The ice sculptures had a difficult time holding up, sadly, and attendants of the very popular winter-time celebrations were disappointed at the closing of the canal. The 3C temperature warranted a ban on the traditional canal skating. The National Capital Commission hopes that this week's cooler temperatures will bolster the event's success, though they report that they are pleased with attendance, despite the weather.
Today's weather will include 2 to 4cm of snow flurries, winds gusting to 20 km/hour, and a high of -5 degrees Celsius.
In sports, I have no idea what happened because sports bore the hell out of me, so I'll direct you here and here. *
I would now like to issue a warning for those of you who have grown tired of the copious complaining that has been going on here at Crazy-ass family. It's about to get worse. For those of you who would rather not subject yourselves to this, I would like to invite you to click on any of the links to the right. While the links are in need of updating, all present links are worth visiting! How about Eve, who is expecting twins? Or my sister, who LOOKS like she's expecting twins, sporting a belly at only 7 weeks pregnant? Very exciting stuff. Dad Gone Mad is always good for a laugh. And for some excellent wit and writing, why not try Breed 'Em And Weep?
That said, I'd like to move into the top story of the day for my most devoted readers (I *heart* YOU, by the way).
The Eakins family continues to be assaulted and smashed to smithereens by illness. In recent news, I have reported various afflictions wreaking havoc on the family, the last being this past Saturday, when both James and Caleb were puking their respective guts up and Tree (*ahem*...that would be me) was feeling rather horrible as well. I am dismayed to report that, after a barf-free day on Sunday, Caleb began throwing up late Sunday night, and was found to be suffering from fever yet again. Jim is recovering nicely, however, Tree, while not having succumbed to the nausea which has plagued her relentlessly for days (yet!), has fallen victim to fever and what feels like a rapid hardening of cement in her sinus cavities. Latest reports indicate that the left sinus area is causing such pain that a wicked headache has ensued. Double vision was had in the early morning hours, as well.
Attempts by the diligent husband to get his ailing family members into the doctor proved unsuccessful.
Young Liam, who is perhaps displaying the most cheerful disposition of any of the sickies, still has a low fever and continues to bark like a seal.
This newscaster, for one, is hoping that this family finds some relief, and soon!
Ghost Story Tuesday is, as of this writing, still scheduled for broadcast at our regular time, despite the state of the author (you see how devoted I am? You see?), barring any sort of barfing episodes. If the author does finally succumb to nausea, however, all life will be put on temporary hold.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. Thank you for tuning in, and good day.

Edited to add:
*My husband, upon reading this, has informed me, between alternating outbursts of laughter and bouts of disbelieving snorts and shakings of the head, that apparently, there was some sort of large sporting event yesterday. One Super...uh...Bowl, I believe. Many apologies to those of you who are savvy in the world of sports, and special congratulations to Pittsburgh fans, who are currently dancing in the streets.