Ghost Story Tuesday

I know I promised to tell you about the ghost at my cousin's house this week, but the doll scene in The Ghost Whisperer last week reminded me of an experience that happened to me when I was very young that still scares me.
Young children are the most open to spirits, as I'm sure you've often heard. And the easiest ghosts to contact are what I call tricksters - ghosts that, for a variety of reasons, want to scare us. So it follows that, when you're a kid (especially a very open kid), you're much more likely to sense a trickster than any other entity. When we were still living in Ottawa (we moved when I was two, so I'm thinking I was about a year and a half*), I had the first ghost experience that I can remember. I woke up during the night, and looked around, my gaze stopping on my Sesame Street plastic play house. The house opened outwards, and came with little Sesame Street inhabitants. When I looked at my toy that night, the little people were moving around. Little Mr. Hooper and Maria and Louise were milling about their business, independent of human interaction. I didn't understand it, but I knew it was odd. I remember crying and my Mother coming to get me. I slept in her bed that night.
When we moved to a PMQ in Prince Edward Island, my experiences intensified. My sister and I would hear voices talking in our bedroom. I'd wake up in the night to hear the toilet flushing, and go to see who was awake, only to find a dark, quiet house. Toys would move and doors would close on their own. Mom assured us that it was all in our imaginations, or that we were dreaming it, which was extremely convenient; we had most of our experiences at night. Both Jen and I would wake up, feeling as if someone were tickling our feet, or jumping on our beds, or sitting on top of us. I very quickly learned to block that type of interaction, but Jen suffered with it for years to come.
We were lucky to have a large playroom on the main floor, where Mom kept all our toys and encouraged us to play. We loved spending time there until we acquired a walking doll. Do you remember the walking dolls from the 70's? They were large; probably about 3 feet tall, and had eyes that would close when they were lying down. You would hold their arms above their head, standing behind them, and slowly walk forward. Their legs would swing out in front of them clumsily, thus giving the appearance that they were walking. I think the doll belonged to my sister. I think she got her for Christmas one year. I know she freaked me out from the start. Jen played with her a lot, and the doll would always end up naked (who knows where her clothes were!), leaning against the far wall beneath the window, her arms raised above her head.
I stopped playing in the playroom so much, and always made sure not to look in there as I walked past.
One morning, I came downstairs and was surprised to find a quiet house. Immediately I felt as though I were not alone. I heard my Mom's voice drift through the screen door, and although that should have given me some relief, the feeling that someone was there with me persisted. I used the bathroom and then headed for the kitchen, where I could talk to my Mom through the screen. I wondered where Jen was, and called her name. Walking past the playroom, I wondered if she was there, and looked in. I stopped in my tracks. Jen was not in the room, but something felt wrong. My eyes immediately went to the doll, and suddenly everything was quiet. I could no longer hear my Mom's voice. I was transfixed.
The doll's head turned, and her plastic eyes met mine.
She blinked.
I debated writing this today, but hey, if you don't think I'm wacky already, this probably won't sway you!
I have never forgotten that morning - what happened, and Mom telling me it was my imagination. Occasionally, I am haunted by dreams starring that damn doll, and I always wake up with a painfully pounding heart, and no voice to scream.
Growing up, I became very good at closing myself to these tricksters. Sadly, when kids close themselves to tricksters, they often close themselves completely. For a while, I didn't see anything at all. Then one night, I was visited the second time by the entity I saw that very first time my Mom came to rescue me from my bed. That Sesame Street house wasn't the only odd thing that happened that night.
But that's a story for another day!

*Good memory, huh? In University, we did a little test in psychology class, and found that there were two of us (in a class of about 150) that could remember being in the womb. I guess a very small percentage of the population can...my Mom didn't believe me until I described, in perfect detail, the apartment we lived in until I was three months old! Strangely, Jim doesn't appreciate my memory...tee hee!*

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You asked some questions. This is turning out to be ridiculously long, so I'll try to be concise!

1) I would be interested to see a post about your view about what happens to people after they die?
Of course, I don't know the answer to this. But I can tell you what I've been able to see and gather over the years. Hmm how do I do this quickly? I know! Point-form:
-there are levels of existence. When we die, we go to a new level - and there are levels there, too.
-we never stop learning, growing, and teaching, even after we die.
-from what I can see, when we die, that isn't "it"...we still aspire to better ourselves...and there are still places to go
-it seems like we experience our levels of existence with a static (although it can change a bit...someone goes away, someone comes) group of souls. Meaning, we live with a group of people, then we die, and we exist with the same group of people. When we live again (reincarnation is a really shady area for me!), it's again with the same group.
There's so much more I can say...but it would take me forever. The best part about this is that we don't know, and aren't supposed to know everything about life and death! We have to keep learning...

I don't believe that ghosts exist ... so what the heck am I supposed to do with your experiences already?
An excellent question. Maybe ignore them? That's what I'm tempted to do most of the time! Or just think of them as fiction, if you'd like. Not so weird and crazy-ish that way. Jim, in fact, didn't believe me for years. Until I proved it to him, that is...

Do you think everyone has this ability but most just don't or won't tap into it?
I like to explain it like this: everyone is born with the ability to sing (unless, of course, there is something physically wrong)...but only some have a gift for it and are able to sing well and without effort. Some have to work on it, and can improve, and some are simply never very good at it. It's the same with every gift, I think...including mine!

Does it ever frighten you, stress you out or anger you to have this gift?
YES! Always, all the time, every day.

To see an entity, does that person have to have died in the vicinity, or spilled blood there like you mentioned?
No, not in my experience. Though they tend to hang out in an area that was significant in their lives (and the place where they died is certainly significant), an entity is drawn to those who can sense it, wherever that person is. If they're here for a reason, an entity may "travel" to try and get their work done. They need someone who can hear them. Jeff's bathroom lady, for example, did not die in his apartment. BUT she did appear in the bathroom.

How much do your boys know about what you can do? Do you think they'll be following in your footsteps??
I don't talk about this very much with the boys, but if they bring up the subject of ghosts, I'm very honest. I'm especially careful to treat their experiences with care. I do see the gift in Caleb and Aidan, and while I don't spend a lot of time on it, when they want to talk, I try to act more as a sounding board than a guide for now. A few weeks ago, Caleb hurt his foot and, without thinking, I placed my hands on his foot and used energy to help him feel better. Caleb exclaimed, "why are your hands so hot?! Hey! My foot feels better! How'd you do that?" I explained that everything is made of energy and that we can learn to use it. He asked if we could see it. I said that some people could, and he touched my forehead and said, "you have a LOT right here." The third eye...interesting. He went on to show me other areas that had a lot of energy...the throat, the sternum, the top of my head...

What colors have you seen around people, and what do the different colors represent?
I think I'll post about energy next Tuesday, so I'll save this for then!

Hey, how about mirrors? Are they like bathrooms and kitchens?
To be honest, I don't know. Mirrors confuse me. I do know one thing: they're a great tool for tricksters to scare us with. Haven't had a whole lot of mirror-related experiences, myself.

PHEW! Ok now I have a question for you, if anyone's still reading. Do you like Ghost Story Tuesday? Shall I continue with it? I often feel that it's so different from my other posts about the kids and daily life and whatever...is this the right place to write about this other, stranger part of my life?