Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Family Night

Due to the increasingly desperate addiction to video games in our household, evenings and weekends have found us more and more detached as a family. Admittedly, when Liam first came home, the ability of electronic gaming systems to keep the boys happy, quiet and busy for a good block of time (with limits, of course) was a gift. But now, we feel less involved with them; less in touch. So, we've instituted a family night. Every Friday, we do something together.
It's going well.
Last night, we went to Pizza Hut (wicked vegetarian pizza!), then rented a movie to watch together. Besides a near miss with Aidan and his strong gag reflex, the night went smoothly. Incidentally, the near miss involved the purposeful self-insertion of a straw down the throat as far as he could stand it, a strong gag, and the bullet fast extraction of said straw. And a huge, goofy smile from the culprit.
Public bathroom visits are a given when we go out to eat. Now that the boys are old enough that I don't have to actually come into the stall with them, bathroom conversation has reached a whole new level of outrageousness. I stand outside the stall while they proudly lock the door, and wait for them to finish. Somehow, to a small child, that thin metal half-door between them and me means that, in order for me to hear them, they need to yell very loudly.
This, as you can imagine, has provided entertainment for all present (if not a touch of embarrassment for yours truly).
Last night, Aidan was first.
We went to the small, two-stall bathroom and Aidan insisted on going into a stall alone. This is a relatively new thing for him, and so he is extra loud when there's something he needs to say. Aidan is three. So there is ALWAYS something to say. I must admit I was a bit relieved that we were the sole occupants of the bathroom. For the first thirty seconds or so, Aidan was quiet. Then an older woman came in, and Aidan found his tongue. The first shouted statement made quite an impression:

MOM! I FARTED! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Muffled laughter from the neighboring stall)

Ok honey. That's nice. Are you done?

NO! HEY! THE TOILET PAPER'S ALL GONE, MOM!

Uh oh. Ok you just wait a sec, and I'll get some for you.

(Our chuckling neighbor exits her stall and begins washing her hands)

HEY MOM! THERE'S SOME TOILET PAPER ON THE FLOOR!

Don't use that, honey. I'll get you some...here.

(I reach under his stall with some paper I've retrieved from the other stall. The woman seems to be taking an inordinate amount of time to wash her hands. Clearly she wants to see how this plays out.)

DID YOU GET THAT OFF THE FLOOR?

No dear, I did not get it off the floor.

(Laughter from the woman whose hands must be very, very dirty)

IT'S OK ANYWAY, MOM! I ALREADY USED SOME!

You did?

YEAH! REMEMBER THERE WAS SOME ON THE FLOOR?

Caleb's visit to the bathroom was next. There was already someone occupying the toilet-paper-equipped stall:

MOM! THE DOOR DOESN'T LOCK ALL THE WAY!

It's ok, bud. It locks enough.

MOM! YOU'RE RIGHT! (pause) MOM! IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE IN HERE?

Yes dear.

HEY! WHO'S PEEING? IT'S NOT ME! MOM! WHO'S PEEING? I HEAR PEE!

(Stifling a giggle) It's the other person, dear.

OH! THAT'S LOUD PEE, ISN'T IT MOM? MY PEE IS NEVER THAT LOUD! WOW!

(The elderly woman exits the bathroom. Thank God she is smiling)

Me: Kids are fun, eh?

Woman: Sometimes

I'm still pondering that one.

Despite all of this, we've declared family night to be a success so far, and will continue with it.

Well I must be off; we're going to a music store to finally get me a flute stand and to look at some higher-quality flutes. Just to look; these things are expensive! But I have to know what I'm aiming for. Someday I will have an awesome flute! I bought the one I have now off of e-bay, and while it was a great price, the tone is a little off. A girl can dream, right?

Some cuteness:

Have a great weekend, all.

7 Comments:

At 3:56 PM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

SUCH CUTIES!! I just want to reach in and snuggle the little one right up.

Absolutely LOL at the bathroom escapades, because I know this conversation is in my immediate future. Aaah, parenting.

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger MomSquared said...

Family night sounds like a wonderful idea.

Those boys are gorgeous. You must be so proud.

 
At 12:21 AM, Blogger Meow said...

Kids are so cute. Sounds like you had a wonderful evening. Take care, Meow

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger s@bd said...

We used to have family night on Fridays and I turned out just fine so ... obviously every family should do the same. Of course, we never went anywhere as great as Pizza Hut: my parents had a total abhorrance of spending money 'unnecessarily'. (Although we did go to Ponderosa on Sunday afternoons after church (I think it was a 'kids eat free deal'.))

And the shouting over/under the stall door: hysterical.

And I used to have a silver-head, open-holed Gemeinhart. I totally thought I was all that. Of course, I sold it in University when I realized that I needed cash WAY MORE than I needed a flute. sigh.

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger LoriLaurieLauri said...

Seriously rolling on the floor laughing here!!! It just hits so close to home...glad it was your turn this weekend, and not mine! lol!

 
At 6:53 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

You boys are cute !!!!

I love family nights , we need to get back to being more routined .
Glad you had a great night.

Loved the bathroom convo with your boy !!!

 
At 3:19 PM, Blogger Odd Mix said...

ROFL. It is even worse, I think, when I have to take all three of my girls into the men's room at Costco. As Bill Cosby said, "They don't MAKE Father/Daughter tee-tee rooms!" (OK, so they do sometimes, but not at Costco)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home