For Cancerbaby

Some would say I did not know you

I read your words
Profound, inspirational, beautiful
I laughed

There were tears, too
Couldn’t help but feel your pain
Unfair

You were dying
From the first time I found you
Slowly

Sometimes you felt better
Stopped dying for a little while
Hopeful

Before it all
You so much wanted a baby
Wanted your own little life to raise
Ached for a small being to share with
To love, to live for
Would have given anything for it.
Oh, that child who never was
The one you dreamed of and loved so fiercely
Would have been the luckiest child
On earth

But cancer ate that dream
Stole it all away from you and from the man you loved
Why?

Still, you dreamed
You fought and raged against it
True hero

Your friend
Started writing in your stead
Missing

The silence
Ominous, telling, undeniable
We knew

We prayed
Thought, meditated, cried
For you

You died
Somehow, you’re gone forever from us
And I never saw your face

But I know
You were beautiful
Smart
Strong
Loving
Hoping
Dreaming
Beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful
And I love you
Jessica