Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

My Bowels are Irritable so I Torture Jim

This morning, I sat the couch in pain, waiting to see if the worst of it had passed. Jim waited with me for a while, and I asked him to sing Paul Revere to me (the Beastie Boys are like magical medicine for IBS attacks…what? you didn’t know?). Jim said he didn’t know the words, so I helped him out with exaggerated arm motions:

Tree: Well, I had a little horsey named…(I just looked at him like he was an idiot to help him)
Jim: um…Paul Revere?
Tree: Just me and my horsey and a quart of…(I mimed drinking)
Jim: uh…brew?
Tree: BEER! BREW DOESN’T RHYME WITH REVERE! (I get a little bitchy when I’m in pain. What can I say?)
Jim: Beer, then.
Tree: Ugh. Ridin’ ‘cross the…(I couldn’t think of anything to mime for “land” so I did the “you’re an idiot if you don’t know this” face again)
Tree: Okay you know this part! One lonely beastie I be! All by myself without nobody! The sun is beatin’ down on my…(I point to my head)
Tree: Yeah! The air is gettin’…(I fan myself)
Jim: Uuuuuhhhhh
Tree: HOT! The beer is gettin’…(I make flattening motions)
Jim: Mmmmmm…?
Tree: FLAT! Lookin’ for a…(I point to myself)
Tree: Ho? I point to myself and you say HO?
Jim: Well…I dunno…
Tree: It’s GIRL! Lookin’ for a GIRL, ran into a…(I point to him)
Jim: GUY!
Tree: Oh NOW you know the words.


At 8:57 PM, Anonymous bee said...

OMG! You have IBS? I do too!

At 9:31 AM, Anonymous said...

ok first off.. i KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO THAT SONG.. yes I am pathetic too. :)

Haven't posted in awhile.. when did you have two more kids?? they have to be cousins right.. cause they look identical.. or you photoshopped that..

At 10:19 AM, Blogger jimbuff said...

OMG! He called you a Ho? I never saw that coming - still laughing 20 minutes later:) That was hilarious!!!

At 2:24 AM, Blogger sblairc said...

Do you remember listening to this "tape" on the school bus when we were kids? Gerry O had his getto blaster?

At 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 4:31 PM, Blogger Zanstorm said...

"Jim said he didn’t know the words..."

Yeah, and I'll bet he can play the Top Gun theme song on a guitar, right?

There is no shame in liking the Beastie Boys! I've liked them since their first album. My favorite Paul Revere lines are:

"M.C.A. was with it and he's my ace
So I grabbed the piano player and I punched him in the face
The piano player's out - the music stopped
His boy had beef - and he got dropped
Mike D. grabbed the money - M.C.A. snatched the gold
I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold."

God, they rule! Great post!


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