Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Thursday, January 11, 2007

I Got Skillz

You know you've made a true friend when she'll take part in making Baby Got Back eloquent:

Good gracious, Becky, observe her behind!
It appears to be unusually large. She resembles one of those rap artist’s significant others.
However, it goes without saying that those rap artists are difficult to understand.
I would venture to say that they only engage her in conversation because her manner of dress and her flamboyant personality portray her (either accurately or not) as a lady of the evening, if you understand what I am saying.

I would like to restate that her behind is extremely large.
I am in a state of disbelief over the sheer roundness of it. It is, for a lack of a better way to say it, very much present. I exclaim loudly in disgust! Observe!

I tell you, people. It's a good way to break up the day. You can do it, too! Let's try this part together:

I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back

Okay! Let's do it!

I grow weary of popular media
Expounding the virtues of less than ample behinds
I would surmise that the average man of colour would, if he were asked, conclude that
A woman is blessed if her behind is excessively rotund

See? Easy! Now you try!


Edited to add:

Ooooh. Jessica has issued a challenge. This time, it's My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas:

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama


Others often remark on my sensuality
Those of the male persuasion have the desire to engage in physical contact with me
They are continuously standing next to me
Consistently dancing next to be
Endeavouring to engage my intimate physical being,
Gazing longingly at my sensual curves
Your gaze is welcome but actual physical contact would result in my initiating entertaining, soap-opera worthy hysterics


At 5:58 PM, Anonymous Jessica said...

I'm sorry...

Can't help....


I dare you to do "My Humps" by Black-Eyed Peas

At 7:18 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

Hilarious! Here's my shot at it:

I'm exhausted by bi-folded, semi-glossy mediums of news
conveying non-curvy derrieres are preferred.
Survey a person fitting the demographic of a typical black male and you're apt to discover that a voluminous backside is considered best.

At 8:11 PM, Blogger Tree said...

Thanks for the challenge, Jessica! this is far too much fun for me.

Maggie, excellent, excellent, excellent! "Voluminous backside" HEHEHE!

At 10:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hee, hee, hee. Thanks for the chuckles (with intelligence, yet!).

How about Like a Virgin by Madonna?


At 10:10 AM, Anonymous bee said...

That. Was. Awesome...

At 12:15 PM, Blogger BraveandCrazyGur1 said...

omg that was great.

:) love it.

At 1:57 PM, Anonymous Jessica said...


You've succeeded in making my husband stare strangely at me, giggling at my computer.

At 2:05 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

This tickled me to no end. Ha. End. I said end.


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