Happy Birthday, Baby

Liam was a surprise.

We were talking about a third baby, and feeling pretty sure that we wanted to have another, but had made up our minds to wait 6 months or so. One month, my cycle was off. The next month, I got pregnant. I knew it that very day. Well, a portion of me knew it, but the rest of me denied it.

Still, though that part of me knew it from the start, seeing that faint pink line on the home pregnancy test took my breath away.

Pregnant.

Pregnant with my third. And it would be another boy. Of course it would. But we were going to wait! But…such a blessing.

The denial lived on, and I think I took a total of 7 pregnancy tests over the first few weeks. Pretty bad, huh? And we didn’t tell our parents until I was about 14 weeks along. The shock of it sort of took over. It wasn’t until I saw him on an ultrasound at 20 weeks that I truly believed it.

The pregnancy was difficult, as I had known it would be. I went on bedrest at 17 weeks and stayed there until I was 34 weeks along. I had contractions right from the start, and threatened pre-term labour at 26 and 34 weeks (much better than the first two boys, believe it or not!). I had gestational diabetes and took insulin.

But I was positive. Right from the start, I made a point to enjoy the pregnancy; to enjoy being the baby’s mother even while he was inside me. And if everything went ok and I got a baby at the end of it, bonus! May seem like a macabre way of looking at things, but I think it saved me. With Aidan, I had been so severely depressed I needed to take Zoloft and go to therapy sessions. I had been so sure I would lose him…and I very nearly did. I couldn’t let that happen again.

I had to stay positive for the sake of the pregnancy, for me, and for my family.

I had known it would be a boy. I dreamt of a blonde, blue-eyed boy very early on. Seemed odd at the time, considering our colouring and the boys’ colouring, but when they handed that beautiful blonde, blue-eyed baby to me for the first time, I already knew him. I had seen him in my dream.

How can I describe how Liam has affected our lives? We simply wouldn’t be whole without him. He is an amazing little person – engaging, emotional, and loving. Such a big personality already. He does things on his own time. He’s not walking yet, though I know he could if he wanted to. Now, when we try to hold his hands and practice, he purposefully dangles from our fingers, refusing to comply. He babbles and gurgles joyfully, and seems to have his own words for certain things. He says “all done” when he’s done feeding. He loves bouncing on our laps or in our arms. He loves being chased. And he adores finding his way past the baby gate and making a break for it up the stairs. He’s giggling well before we grab him. Seems he loves being caught doing something he’s not supposed to be doing the most. He pulls the cds off the shelf and stares at us, waiting for our reaction. “What did you do?” from Jim or I is met with uncontrollable giggling and a renewed enthusiasm for tearing the entertainment center apart. If it were Caleb or Aidan, we’d be there beside them, picking up after them, but now, we just let him go, and pick up when he goes to bed.

Other things change with the third. We don’t freak out when he cries. In fact, more often than not, the monitor simply gets switched off when he wants to wake up at 5am. We’ve been giving him cows milk for months. And he’s been eating our food for just as long. He still breastfeeds 5 times a day. Just to put that in perspective, he’s in daycare from 7am to 4:30pm. So yeah, he wakes me at least twice a night to feed.

He’s happy. He’s beautiful. He’s the best surprise I’ve ever had the pleasure of receiving.

Today, on his first birthday, he is recovering from the chicken pox. But, he will eat chocolate cake tonight! And open presents!

Happy birthday, sweet, dear boy. I love you so much. You make me laugh every day. You bring me joy.

Oh, you bring me such joy.

What? You say you want to be subjected to OOPS I mean you want to read his birth story? Well, I just happened to have posted it here. Enjoy!

ps: Kelly, I forbid you to read the birth story.

pps: Jen, maybe your shouldn’t read it, either. Hee hee!