Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Perhaps I Need to Start Writing Things Down

The tooth fairy often forgets to come to our house.

Well, she forgot once, and the other two times, she probably couldn't find Caleb's teeth because they were too far under the pillow.

But she's magic, Mom, says Caleb, why can't she just use magic to get my tooth?
I try to look calm, but thoughtful. Inside, I'm freaking out a little.

Well maybe she just couldn't reach it! I say, elated that I've come up with a plausible explanation. Maybe you had it too close to the wall...fairies are small, you know..." I finish, feeling smug.

But they have wings. Couldn't she just fly over me if it was too close to the wall?
I look into those eyes...and remember being a kid and knowing that the tooth fairy was actually my Mom. I remember testing her, as Caleb is testing me.

Huh, I say, turning away to pour some cereal, I don't know, bud. I don't know the tooth fairy.
I feel like such a tool.

That was last time.

Yesterday, when Caleb lost his first molar, I was excited to remedy past errors. I would not make the same mistake! When he went to bed, I followed. I suggested he put the tooth as close to the edge of the bed as possible, so the tooth fairy could reach it. He complied happily.
Satisfied, I went about my evening, secure in the knowledge that I would restore Caleb's faith in something magical, and perhaps repair my own faith in my mothering abilities.

Ha ha.

This morning, I flipped on the light in the boy's room, and in the instant that I loudly proclaimed, "Time to get up, boys!" I realized that the tooth fairy had forgotten to come.

Frigging tooth fairy!

What happened next was so beautifully executed that you may feel some overwhelming admiration for me, so brace yourself.

I leaped over plastic knights and Pokemon, and weaved my way deftly around the castle and the light sabre. I negotiated a stealthy path through that room like nobody's business, and grabbed that tooth as Caleb sleepily rolled away from me.

"Good morning, honey!" I enthused, smiling painfully even though he wasn't looking at me.

I was out of the room and down the stairs in seconds, rummaging through Jim's change dish (uh...ha ha! Sorry, Jim!) and noting that my heart was hammering with a ferocity that was rather invigorating.

Back up the stairs, and through the obstacle course that is Caleb and Aidan's room, and I once again stood by the bed, panting but feeling rather happy. He was still facing the wall, stretching.

YES! Nearly there!

I waited a millisecond. The triumph of it all felt just so-oh good. Then he rolled over and reached upward. Reached for his prize.

A few of things could have happened here. He could have found nothing and I could have spontaneously combusted as a result. He could have found nothing and begin to search frantically, only to find the money in my hand. I could have tried to zip the money under the pillow and then remove my hand...a rather obvious blunder.
But what DID happen was that I exclaimed, "Caleb! Look what you got!" I gazed with great intensity at the upper corner of his pillow, then reached up with the hand containing the money, turning it over after it had appeared that I had grabbed it and revealing what I'd "found".

I am a magician. Yes I am!

His face lit up, and I felt the weight of past tooth fairy mishaps melt away.

All was good in the world.


...halfway through breakfast, Caleb, looking thoughtful, said, "MOM! Just before you came in my room this morning, my tooth was still there...and then it turned to money is that possible?"

And I exploded.



Hi! I didn't forget to answer your questions! I'm going to, I promise. Soon!


At 12:57 AM, Blogger Eve said...

And you would have gotten away with it, if it hadden't been for those meddling (smartie pants!) kids!!


At 9:36 AM, Blogger Jay said...

Now THAT is a cute T.F. story. And just so you know, the tooth fairy OFTEN forgets to stop here as well. She must be getting old and senile.

At 11:16 AM, Blogger Scotia_sammyjo said...

hahahaaaa. awesome story.

And yes, I have the Froud cards [and half his books, I love his stuff] - I recognized your tattoo as soon as you posted it. Tobaira of the waters is my favourite...

At 12:56 PM, Anonymous oddmix said...

The correct answer was "By Magic! Everyone knows the Tooth Fairy is magic. Geeze, how else do you think one little fairy can carry around all that change and all those teeth. Now, eat your breakfast."

At 7:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you:)

I am crying as I read this:) I really do love you:) Kels

At 10:04 PM, Blogger mommiebear2 said...

Wow, that was amazing. The Tooth Fairy has also forgotten a few times at our house, but luckily was able to slip it in there before their little eyes opened.


Post a Comment

<< Home