Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Thursday, January 05, 2006

The Child, He Cries

Liam has caught my cold. So sleep has been next to impossible. I thought of coming down to write a post at 4 this morning, but of course I was holding Liam so thought it best to stay put. I feel like holding Liam to try and get him to sleep is all I do lately. Yesterday, he cried unless I held him, and acted like I was trying to torture him when I offered him his lunch...and supper. And the poor kid tried so hard to eat his biscuit, but it got in the way of his crying (it was actually sort of comical to watch him stuff the biscuit in his mouth, suck wildly for a few seconds, then rip it out of his mouth so he could cry...repeatedly) so we trashed that idea quickly. I understand his crankiness; the sore throat and the low energy sucks. And the headache...oooooh the headache! Hard to entertain Caleb and Liam feeling like this, it is.


Anyway, let's talk about something else. Something more positive!
The bank lost a $300 cheque that we deposited.
Wait, that's no better! Let me think.
Some people I know are having babies! That is exciting. Eve has discovered she is having twins, which is just so cool. I only know her via our blogs and email, but I am just so excited for her I could jump up and down! Yes, even feeling this yucky! Congratulations, Eve. Kelly finds out soon what kind she's growing. And friends of ours (Jim works with the husband, Phil) are expecting near the end of the month.
See? I feel more cheerful already. Even Miss Zoot is talking about babies. Of course, all this baby-growing has made me think about what we're going to do. Meaning whether we're done or not. I probably just gave my Mother in-law (hi Mom!) a bit of arrhythmia, so let me just say that right now, especially right now, I feel done. But on the good days, I feel not done. Jim, too. We go back and forth. On the pros side, we make lovely children. And we love being parents...we're good at it! We'd love to try for that elusive girl, but honestly another boy would be just fine, too. We'd LOVE another. If it weren't for the cons, I think I'd be pregnant already.
Hmm. Wow, did it ever snow here last night!!
Eh? Oh, the cons? You are so quick. I thought I'd be able to skip over those. Ok well the cons list is a touch longer than the pros:
-Kids are expensive
-I don't know what would happen with my job if I got pregnant again, especially if it were soon-ish
-Four kids. I repeat: FOUR kids.
-The big one: I have difficult pregnancies. The first resulted in my beautiful Caleb, 7 weeks early after a 3 week hospital stay. The last two included four months of bedrest (EACH), depression requiring drugs (with Aidan), contractions from the start to the finish of the pregnancies, preterm labour, nearly having Aidan at 24 weeks, 6 days, insulin-treated gestational diabetes...etc. And that's just my side of things. Jim has to take on the entire gamut of responsibilities including...well, including everything. Not only did he have to take on all child care, work a full-time job, worry about the car, the house, the bills, and preparing for the baby, but he had to prepare all of my meals and take care of me. I was not depressed while pregnant with Liam, but I know the strain of my depression while pregnant with Aidan took its toll on Jim. If we were to try for another, Jim would have to take care of three kids. And what if I got depressed again?
All of that said, let it be known that my pregnancy with Liam was the best of the three. I seem to be getting better at it. I have a theory about that, including what the heck is wrong with my uterus, but I won't bore you with that today. Anyway, only threatened preterm labour with Liam, not actual preterm labour. No depression. And we had to induce labour at 38 weeks, 2 days, otherwise I would have gone all the way, baby (induced because of the gest. diabetes). And bedrest wasn't horrible, if you can believe it. I read about 30 books, I drew a lot, and I crocheted! I watched movies, wrote letters to my Mom, and kept a journal. I did not obsess over the contractions.
I must stop now, as I could go on forever. But these things are on my mind as of late. Incidentally, although the pros list is much shorter than the cons list, the emotional qualities attached to it are much more compelling, n'est ce pas? I don't know what we'll do, and for now, that's ok. We'll decide when it's time to decide. Until then, I will rejoice in the joys and blessings of my friends.
And bury my face in my baby's neck, eyes closed, inhaling.

I have so many blessings, too.

~~~~~~~

Later:

I came down from putting the baby to bed and Caleb was running around with a rubber ball. I believe he is becoming bored here at home. Anyway, moments later, he sidled up to my chiar, and said, "Look, Mom! I have a big penis!" Horrified, I looked. He had put the ball down his pants and was brandishing his new package proudly.

It was very, very hard not to giggle as I lectured him on proper etiquette.

10 Comments:

At 11:41 AM, Anonymous chris said...

how well i remember thinking in those same circles in the middle of the night while up with one or the other of the kids. i believe that you will know what's right for you. we made the leap 4 times and then adopted the 5th. (*that* wasn't part of the plan, but like it was with the other 4, once he was there we couldn't imagine it any other way.)

 
At 12:57 PM, Blogger Tree said...

Hmmm interesting; we've always thought about adoption, too! So you ended up with 5? Wow. And you're still sane? Food for thought!

 
At 7:55 PM, Blogger sblairc said...

Calebs stunt sounds like something your husband would say/do back when he was young and immature. . . like in front of my mother or something. . . love you guys!

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger LoriLaurieLauri said...

I think a 4th would drive me over the edge...but that's just me! Although it might be worth it just for the benefit of giving up child care duties and nothing but bedrest for a few months! lol!

But let's make no mistake here...I AM DONE!

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

I hope you feel better soon.

It is way worse being sick when you have a sick baby too .

I could understand your reluctence on having a 4th if your pregnancy's are bad. My pregnancys weren't bad but I had an abrubption while in labour with #4 . I then got pregnant with Ella 3 months after Josiah was born , I was so freaked out . I really thought I was done !!! No of course I can't imagine life without her. I really do desire more children and my husband and I have talked about adoption too. Did you know that a lot people who adopt forieng children have 4 or more children. I know of a family with 9 bio kids who just adopted 7 more. Can you imagine ???

You will know when the time comes.

Sorry this was so long , next time I will just e-mail you !!!

 
At 9:26 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

P.s

I am not illiterate !!! I am so used to spell check that I have gotten lazy !!!

 
At 10:33 AM, Blogger s@bd said...

sick mamma: :-(
sick baby: double :-(

I have a lot of 'real-life' friends having babies. But not me! Not me!!

Here's what my mom said when I asked for her opinion on having another:

Enjoy the ones you have.

Smartie-pants, eh?

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger Amanda Sue said...

don't their little necks smell good?

unless they have been spitting up all day and haven't had a bath yet. then it is acceptable to just bury your face in their hand or some other, less offensive, part of their body.

 
At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok firstly caleb is freaken hilarious and i would have peeed my pants for sure if i had been there hahahhahah
secondly about the 4 kids thing..that was my goal before i had gage...and i still would like 4...but ryan won't even give me a second :( i'm telling you i WANT TO BE PREGNANT AGAIN! yes you heard me..but ryan is constantly making excuses.. i think that 'i'm done' feeling is constantly there when you have a young baby...just within a few months i've begun to feel different , wanting another..so give yourself time to REALLY know what you want. i'm SURE you would have everything already in that house of yours that you would need for him/her already free lol clothes, breastmilk lol, toys galore etc..
vaccinations are free..doctors visits are free.. its easy lol
but yea the stress of it, if you are sure you can handle 3 without pulling out your hair and screaming then YES have another and YES i'll get preggo with you..i will somehow...i'll trick ryan lol everyday now i ask him if we can have another and he just doesn't give me a yes or no :( i hate it

jen

 
At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok firstly caleb is freaken hilarious and i would have peeed my pants for sure if i had been there hahahhahah
secondly about the 4 kids thing..that was my goal before i had gage...and i still would like 4...but ryan won't even give me a second :( i'm telling you i WANT TO BE PREGNANT AGAIN! yes you heard me..but ryan is constantly making excuses.. i think that 'i'm done' feeling is constantly there when you have a young baby...just within a few months i've begun to feel different , wanting another..so give yourself time to REALLY know what you want. i'm SURE you would have everything already in that house of yours that you would need for him/her already free lol clothes, breastmilk lol, toys galore etc..
vaccinations are free..doctors visits are free.. its easy lol
but yea the stress of it, if you are sure you can handle 3 without pulling out your hair and screaming then YES have another and YES i'll get preggo with you..i will somehow...i'll trick ryan lol everyday now i ask him if we can have another and he just doesn't give me a yes or no :( i hate it

jen

 

Post a Comment

<< Home