Happy And Sad

Aidan is on the mend. His fever seems to have calmed down and he's quickly getting back to his talkative, happy little self. At it's worst, his fever hit 104.7, measured with an electronic ear thermometer. This was rather distressing, especially considering that this is the boy who used to seize when his fevers would get that high. No seizures this time; just a miserable little guy, red-faced and silent. The pediatrician told us to get him into a cool bath, which I did, and Aidan wailed the entire time.
Not so fun.
Today, though, he is better.
Now, I must tell you the marvelous things that have happened on the daycare front. In Quebec, we are very lucky to have access to subsidized daycare. This means we get government-regulated, excellent daycare for $7 a day. It's hard to get in...for the first two years we lived here, we paid $800/month to have two kids in daycare. Of course, most of that was refunded at tax time...see, if you can't get into a subsidized daycare and have to pay private fees, those are returned to you. To say this is wonderful is an understatement.
Aidan goes to a daycare which is so great that we frequently have to pinch ourselves to be sure we aren't dreaming. His daycare worker adores kids and truly loves taking care of them. They do fun activities and get outside often. Aidan loves to go. When Liam was born, we fervently hoped we could get him in, but it looked pretty hopeless; subsidized daycares are only allowed a certain number of children. Up until a week ago, the plan was to get him into a different daycare, meaning we'd have three different places to drop the kids off before work every morning. Not something to look forward to.
Then, a miracle happened.
One of the mothers whose baby goes to Aidan's daycare decided to open up her own daycare...therefore opening a spot for a baby.
That baby, friends, is Liam!
Not only does he have a spot, but it starts on Monday...meaning I have more than a month before I go back to work to transition him into daycare. This means so much, as I'll have to wean him (at least from daytime feeds) at the same time.
We're going to try two half-days next week!
Isn't it wonderful?
Don't I sound excited!?!
Truthfully, while I'm very happy that this turn of events has been so beneficial for us, it's all brought home a few realities which I have been conveniently avoiding.
I have to go back to work on May 1st.
I have to wean my sweet boy.
I will no longer have the privilege of staying home and caring for my baby.
Caleb can't come home for lunch anymore.
I won't be able to decide to keep Aidan out of daycare just because I want to be with him.
I am very, very sad about all of this.
This morning, as Liam practiced crawling and Aidan watched cartoons, there was a knock at the door. I was surprised to find our daycare worker, and all the kids from the daycare standing at the door. They had walked over to check on Aidan, and to drop off a card that they had made, a coloring book, some crayons, and some stickers. "How is he?" she asked, looking concerned.
When I brought Liam to the door, she jumped up and down. "He's coming next week!" she exclaimed.
Before they left, she asked hopefully if Aidan would be back in daycare tomorrow.
We are so very lucky. As anxious I am about going back to work, about weaning, about leaving my boys...this woman is making it easier on me.
Now to figure out what the heck I'm going to do on the days I bring Liam to daycare during the next month.
I could go shopping!
I could do errands!
Visit friends!
SLEEP!
Or, more realistically, I could lie on the couch and worry about whether he's drinking enough milk.

Aidan coloring with his new crayons:

Look at this face. How can I leave him?