Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Happy And Sad

Aidan is on the mend. His fever seems to have calmed down and he's quickly getting back to his talkative, happy little self. At it's worst, his fever hit 104.7, measured with an electronic ear thermometer. This was rather distressing, especially considering that this is the boy who used to seize when his fevers would get that high. No seizures this time; just a miserable little guy, red-faced and silent. The pediatrician told us to get him into a cool bath, which I did, and Aidan wailed the entire time.
Not so fun.
Today, though, he is better.
Now, I must tell you the marvelous things that have happened on the daycare front. In Quebec, we are very lucky to have access to subsidized daycare. This means we get government-regulated, excellent daycare for $7 a day. It's hard to get in...for the first two years we lived here, we paid $800/month to have two kids in daycare. Of course, most of that was refunded at tax time...see, if you can't get into a subsidized daycare and have to pay private fees, those are returned to you. To say this is wonderful is an understatement.
Aidan goes to a daycare which is so great that we frequently have to pinch ourselves to be sure we aren't dreaming. His daycare worker adores kids and truly loves taking care of them. They do fun activities and get outside often. Aidan loves to go. When Liam was born, we fervently hoped we could get him in, but it looked pretty hopeless; subsidized daycares are only allowed a certain number of children. Up until a week ago, the plan was to get him into a different daycare, meaning we'd have three different places to drop the kids off before work every morning. Not something to look forward to.
Then, a miracle happened.
One of the mothers whose baby goes to Aidan's daycare decided to open up her own daycare...therefore opening a spot for a baby.
That baby, friends, is Liam!
Not only does he have a spot, but it starts on Monday...meaning I have more than a month before I go back to work to transition him into daycare. This means so much, as I'll have to wean him (at least from daytime feeds) at the same time.
We're going to try two half-days next week!
Isn't it wonderful?
Don't I sound excited!?!
Truthfully, while I'm very happy that this turn of events has been so beneficial for us, it's all brought home a few realities which I have been conveniently avoiding.
I have to go back to work on May 1st.
I have to wean my sweet boy.
I will no longer have the privilege of staying home and caring for my baby.
Caleb can't come home for lunch anymore.
I won't be able to decide to keep Aidan out of daycare just because I want to be with him.
I am very, very sad about all of this.
This morning, as Liam practiced crawling and Aidan watched cartoons, there was a knock at the door. I was surprised to find our daycare worker, and all the kids from the daycare standing at the door. They had walked over to check on Aidan, and to drop off a card that they had made, a coloring book, some crayons, and some stickers. "How is he?" she asked, looking concerned.
When I brought Liam to the door, she jumped up and down. "He's coming next week!" she exclaimed.
Before they left, she asked hopefully if Aidan would be back in daycare tomorrow.
We are so very lucky. As anxious I am about going back to work, about weaning, about leaving my boys...this woman is making it easier on me.
Now to figure out what the heck I'm going to do on the days I bring Liam to daycare during the next month.
I could go shopping!
I could do errands!
Visit friends!
Or, more realistically, I could lie on the couch and worry about whether he's drinking enough milk.

Aidan coloring with his new crayons:

Look at this face. How can I leave him?


At 12:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my, you sound so sad although appreciative of what you have. I know that this is a hard transition time, not through personal experience but from others who've gone through it. And it can't be easy having these feelings on top of the depressive/anxiety symptoms.

But you could come and visit Sasha and me! Or we could come and visit you while Liam's at daycare so that you aren't completely babyless...he can even try out your boobs, if you like! (just kidding).

He just woke up from his nap, while I was only halfway through my lunch, of course. And is not pleased that I am leaving him on the floor while I finish it. Demanding yet beguiling little creature.

Jill xoxo

At 1:18 PM, Blogger s@bd said...

I don't know how to leave them.

I just don't know how.

I think I'm going to homeschool mine, just so I don't have to leave them. Ever.

Okay, just kidding about the home-schooling part. Probably by then I'll be begging them to go ...?

At 2:02 PM, Blogger Jennboree said...

May sound silly but I am so proud of you! Getting all your ducks in a row will help you with the transition as much as it will your children.

That is SO awesome about subsidized daycare. The US should catch a clue on that one.

At 3:18 PM, Blogger LoriLaurieLauri said...

That is so great that you feel so comfortable with the day care situation...and I'm so glad Liam got in! But...when you go back to work, that may cut into your blogging time...and I'm not gonna be happy about that! lol!

At 5:52 PM, Anonymous Dawn said...

Your post just reminded me that my daycare subsidy expires at the end of the month! Made a few calls today and it looks like I am not able to renew it until I start my next program.

For some reason I totally forgot that you live in Canada too lol. The picture of your kids are awesome. I just posted one of Jeremy yesterday on my blog.

At 7:59 PM, Blogger Meow said...

Aaawww, that must be so hard, to have to put your baby with someone else. It must be heartbreaking. don't know that I could do it. But, if you must, you must. You do sound very brave about it. It will be wonderful, too, to get back into the real "adult" world again ... hope it all goes well for you. By the way, the photos are gorgeous.
Take care, meow

At 8:56 PM, Blogger LynAnne said...

If you don't want to wean him, perhaps you could continue breastfeeding while he's home. It's amazing how your body can adjust to even just nursing before bedtime.

I had such a hard time each time I returned to work. Now I have a hard time staying home because I think of all the things my third child will be missing because she doesn't go to daycare....all the friends and activities, all the fun games and different toys, having different adult caregivers (exposing her to new personalities and experiences)...oh there are so many benefits to daycare!

I hope Aiden continues to feel better- poor little guy :(

At 8:42 AM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I'm glad to hear Aidan is better. I hope he stays better.

I don't know either, as far as leaving goes. I just have ((hugs)) for you.

At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah babes, I wanna cry both tears of joy and pain for fact in my prego state I am doing both.

Your emotions came through so clear in that blog.

Things will work out wonderfully. You can have some YOU time. The time spent with your babies will be ALL the sweeter after you have a day or two alone.

On a selfish note! COME SEE ME! :) hehe

Love you, Kels.

At 3:53 PM, Blogger MomSquared said...

Oh Tree, that stinks that you have to leave your little boy. He is very cute.
When I leave for school every morning the twins and I play a game through the storm door where we place our hands on each other's hands. It keeps them from crying when I leave and it's a nice way to start my day.
I'm jealous of the daycare situation in Canada. We pay close to 2K ($US)/month for childcare. No joke!

At 4:42 PM, Blogger Diana said...

I need to move to Canada. I can't afford daycare here, so i have my hubby's aunt watching him, and she watches spanish soaps all my son is learning spanish drama now.
yup, need to move to canada...

At 7:30 PM, Blogger kris said...

Canada just sounds like such a great place to live.

I hope Aiden's upturn continues, and good luck with the daycare situation. I hope you'll let us all know how day-weaning goes. I'm literally afraid of weaning Zane. I just don't know how to even begin.

At 10:06 PM, Blogger Mrs. Why said...

Oh man, I feel for you on the weaning. I'm sure it will be harder on you, since it sounds like he is going to have a great time at day care. Be prepared for him to want to marathon nurse when he gets his chance to nurse (if you only day wean).

At 8:52 AM, Blogger Tree said...

WOW, thanks for all the support. Have I mentioned that you guys ROCK?
Well, you do.
And yeah, I plan to only wean him for the part of the day he'll be at daycare, and see what he thinks after that. I did the same with Aidan, and he completely weaned himself within a couple of weeks. I'll leave it up to him.

At 8:29 PM, Blogger MomToTracyNSheri said...

It's hard. I know it's hard.

You're lucky. I know you know that too.


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