Crazy-ass family

You just can't make this stuff up

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Today I Spent Way Too Much Money At Wal-Mart Because...

Liam went to daycare! And it was day TWO! For Liam! At daycare! And I had to do something with myself...and shopping is fun!
So on Monday night I whined to my therapist about the troubles I seemed to be having with leaving my son at daycare (which is also where Aidan goes, mind you. Oy.). I didn't expect her to fix it, because honestly? So far we just sit and chat about things I already know. But on Monday, she got out her dry-erase marker and stood at the whiteboard and together we made a step-by-step plan for how I was going to handle this whole daycare thing. A PLAN!
I can do that! I can set goals! Follow steps! I can go according to plan!
So the first step was to leave Liam at daycare on Tuesday (yesterday) for a couple of hours. I was supposed to keep really busy during the two hours, so as to quell the burgeoning tsunami of anxiety within my bosom. When we arrived with the kids, I was trembling. I handed our beloved daycare provider my baby and I know I babbled on and on for several minutes but I truly can't remember what I said. Walking out the door, my heart tried to tug me thudded and danced in my chest in an effort to get closer to my baby boy.
Do you know what made me feel better? I looked back for a final goodbye to Liam, then to Aidan. My eyes stopped on Aidan and for just a moment, I was transfixed. In that moment, looking at his sweet, happy face, I remembered the first day of daycare for him. He was miserable! The caregiver was exhausted when we came to get him because he wouldn't let her put him down. He didn't drink any milk. He didn't sleep. He wanted nothing but arms around him for days.
But he's ok.
He's more than 3.5 years old, he is fluently bilingual. He is outgoing, compassionate, funny, and caring. He shares well and makes friends easily. He's well adjusted. He's...happy! Liam will be, too.
Liam did well yesterday. He didn't drink milk (spit it all over himself for fun instead) but I'm convinced it's just a matter of time before he realizes that my boobs aren't at daycare. If he wants milk, that cup is how he'll have to get it. I made a point to wait until after lunch to breastfeed...and I have never seen a baby more excited!
Today I let him stay until after he ate lunch. He did well. He didn't drink, but he did well.
Right now he's sleeping soundly, and I am feeling...well, I'm mixed. I feel proud that we've made it this far. I feel confident that he'll be ok. I feel sad that I have to leave him, yes...but reassured that, like my other boys, he'll be fine. He'll be more than fine. He'll learn french, make friends, learn social skills...and I'll get to work. Ok that last part isn't so exciting but those student loans aren't going to pay themselves, you dig?
Anyway, you were right, oh wise internet friends. Thank you for your encouragement!
It's going to be ok.

*Oh, snap**! I forgot to mention this little tidbit: when I breastfed him after I got him home today, Liam bit me. Bit my boob. HARD.
Maybe he's expressing his ire at being left without the boob for so long? I keep trying to tell him that if he keeps that up, he'll get much less of Mommy's milk. I hope he understands.

**Hehehehe I said oh, snap! Ah, the laughter. Did you see House last night? When he said that I nearly peed in my pants.


At 3:04 PM, Blogger Odd Mix said...

Good for you for following the plan. I am very glad for you. Despite what it undobtedly feels like to you, I get the sense from your writing that there really is some improvement in your mental state! Woohoo. Not that I am a professional shrink, or anything - you just sound better.

At 3:22 PM, Blogger LoriLaurieLauri said...

Funny-the OddMan said what I was DO sound better. More lighthearted. Hope it's for real.

(And I hope he doesn't mind me calling him the OddMan!)lol!

So's all working out AND you got to go to Wal-Mart ALONE!!! I'm so jealous!

At 5:36 PM, Blogger sblairc said...

So what did you buy at Walmart?

Good job on the daycare! It will be fine. Love ya!

At 9:01 PM, Blogger MomToTracyNSheri said...

Of course it's going to be fine. The kids always do better than we do, don't they?

I hope you bought yourself something new and cool.

At 9:02 PM, Blogger MomToTracyNSheri said...

Oh yeah. The biting. My guess is he was just chomping down to make sure you were there for real.

At 9:38 AM, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I'm with do sound better. You sound ... hopeful. :)

At 9:42 AM, Blogger Ali said...

he's going to be fine.
these things are ALWAYS much harder on the mommies than on the babies.


At 12:31 PM, Blogger LynAnne said...

I always felt funny about talking to my therapist because I thought I knew the answers to my problems but just didn't have the motivation to do what I should. Then I found that even though the therapist couldnt always provide the right solution, just talking about it with someone was enough to nudge myself along towards doing something about it.

Also, give the medicine some time. The changes may be so subtle that you might not notice a sudden change. Though keep your dr. informed because he/she might need to ajust the dosage or try another med.

At 5:03 PM, Blogger Jennboree said...

You do sound more encouraged! Perhaps not just the meds or your therapist, but seeing for yourself that Liam is going to be just fine. Yeah, your boob may suffer but what's a little pain to see your sweet boy so excited for mama's milk? I even sometimes miss that special bond I had with Isabella.

And, hey, how about shopping at leisure? What a treat!

At 5:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an exciting and yet woefully incomplete blog entry! What in the world did you buy at Walmart? Don't leave us devoted readers hanging, pour l'amour du bon dieu!


At 1:36 PM, Blogger Tree said...

You guys rock.
I think I do feel better...I'm not's so subtle...but I think I do!
I'm sorry I didn't disclose my Wal-Mart purchases! Sinful!
I got:
-a bird cage and various bird accoutrements ('cuz my sister gave me four of her birdies)
-many clothes for Liam, who seems to have grown out of EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE
-some SpongeBob pyjamas for myself. I have no shame
-hand soap (oh, the excitement!)
-a ginormous box of Honey Nut Cheerios because they ROCK!


At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Jo said...

Spongebob pyjamas?! Cool!

Ow on the biting front. Those new teeth are sharp and they hurt. Did you yelp? Alex used to think I was some kind of giant cot toy - bite this bit here and a really loud noise comes out! So funny! Do it again! Hear mummy scream some more!!


At 10:48 PM, Blogger Shana said...

See, the therapist IS helping. You are doing great! May 1 is, as you said, going to be here before you know it, but you're going to be ready. And Liam will be just fine.


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