Today I Spent Way Too Much Money At Wal-Mart Because...

Liam went to daycare! And it was day TWO! For Liam! At daycare! And I had to do something with myself...and shopping is fun!
Shazam!
So on Monday night I whined to my therapist about the troubles I seemed to be having with leaving my son at daycare (which is also where Aidan goes, mind you. Oy.). I didn't expect her to fix it, because honestly? So far we just sit and chat about things I already know. But on Monday, she got out her dry-erase marker and stood at the whiteboard and together we made a step-by-step plan for how I was going to handle this whole daycare thing. A PLAN!
I can do that! I can set goals! Follow steps! I can go according to plan!
So the first step was to leave Liam at daycare on Tuesday (yesterday) for a couple of hours. I was supposed to keep really busy during the two hours, so as to quell the burgeoning tsunami of anxiety within my bosom. When we arrived with the kids, I was trembling. I handed our beloved daycare provider my baby and I know I babbled on and on for several minutes but I truly can't remember what I said. Walking out the door, my heart tried to tug me back...it thudded and danced in my chest in an effort to get closer to my baby boy.
Do you know what made me feel better? I looked back for a final goodbye to Liam, then to Aidan. My eyes stopped on Aidan and for just a moment, I was transfixed. In that moment, looking at his sweet, happy face, I remembered the first day of daycare for him. He was miserable! The caregiver was exhausted when we came to get him because he wouldn't let her put him down. He didn't drink any milk. He didn't sleep. He wanted nothing but arms around him for days.
But he's ok.
He's more than ok...at 3.5 years old, he is fluently bilingual. He is outgoing, compassionate, funny, and caring. He shares well and makes friends easily. He's well adjusted. He's...happy! Liam will be, too.
Liam did well yesterday. He didn't drink milk (spit it all over himself for fun instead) but I'm convinced it's just a matter of time before he realizes that my boobs aren't at daycare. If he wants milk, that cup is how he'll have to get it. I made a point to wait until after lunch to breastfeed...and I have never seen a baby more excited!
Today I let him stay until after he ate lunch. He did well. He didn't drink, but he did well.
Right now he's sleeping soundly, and I am feeling...well, I'm mixed. I feel proud that we've made it this far. I feel confident that he'll be ok. I feel sad that I have to leave him, yes...but reassured that, like my other boys, he'll be fine. He'll be more than fine. He'll learn french, make friends, learn social skills...and I'll get to work. Ok that last part isn't so exciting but those student loans aren't going to pay themselves, you dig?
Anyway, you were right, oh wise internet friends. Thank you for your encouragement!
It's going to be ok.

*Oh, snap**! I forgot to mention this little tidbit: when I breastfed him after I got him home today, Liam bit me. Bit my boob. HARD.
THREE TIMES.
Maybe he's expressing his ire at being left without the boob for so long? I keep trying to tell him that if he keeps that up, he'll get much less of Mommy's milk. I hope he understands.
Because...OW.*

**Hehehehe I said oh, snap! Ah, the laughter. Did you see House last night? When he said that I nearly peed in my pants.